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Olhokie64



   Olhokie64 posted on Jokes  The Old Mule
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning 'til night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He plowed a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men. The old farmer said, 'Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement.' And what about the men?' the minister asked. 'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
February 24 at 08:54 EST .

   8 people like this.




   Olhokie64 posted on Dogs, Cats & Critters  My beautiful wife, the crazy duck lady.

http://youtu.be/wphC64kvuGQ
February 5 at 03:09 EST .

   6 people like this.



   Olhokie64  I think it works now.
February 5 at 03:17 EST .

  10 people like this.



   Safetydude  Here in FL she would be arrested for doing that.
February 6 at 14:49 EST .

  9 people like this.





   Olhokie64 posted on Jokes  After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OHNO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the clerks passed out.
February 4 at 23:54 EST .

   11 people like this.




   Olhokie64 posted on Dogs, Cats & Critters  My beautiful wife, the crazy duck lady.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=817132578302523
February 4 at 21:36 EST .

   8 people like this.



   Balogreene  Olhokie, sorry, it wouldn't let me go there.
February 4 at 22:04 EST .

  11 people like this.



   Olhokie64  It must be on my facebook. What do I do right?
February 5 at 00:00 EST .

  9 people like this.





   Olhokie64 posted on Jokes  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10203150202420631

This is one of the funniest things I have seen. It does have one bad word. If any of you think I should delete, let me know.
January 31 at 14:56 EST .

   8 people like this.



   Balogreene  Oh, I miss British comedy. That was way too funny. Thanks Olhokie.
January 31 at 17:53 EST .

  9 people like this.



   Olhokie64  Is it appropriate? I respect your opinions.
January 31 at 17:56 EST .

  10 people like this.



   Balogreene  I think so.
February 1 at 16:32 EST .

  6 people like this.





   Olhokie64 posted on Recipes  I have to tell you, if it were not for my crockpot, I don’t think we would be eating home-cooked meals as often as we do. Well, maybe that’s not true, but I would definitely be more grumpy because I truly despise having to cook after a long day, especially knowing that I have hours of homework ahead of me. The crockpot is truly a busy mom’s best friend, and even more so for a busy homeschooling mom!

Meatloaf and potatoes is one of my family’s favorite meals. You can very easily make it in the crock pot and let it cook all day while you get other things accomplished. This meal is easy to reduce for smaller families, or single people as well, just use a smaller crock pot. I use my ginormous one, of course!

Make your meatloaf however you typically make it. If you don’t have a recipe you already love, here is an easy base recipe (I make it different every time, based on what I have. In the picture below I added diced onion. I usually add chopped tomato ):

2.5 pounds of ground turkey (or beef, if you prefer )

1 egg

3/4 cup smashed cornflakes (or bread crumbs, but I prefer corn flakes )

1 envelope of Lipton onion soup mix

2-3 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

salt, pepper, paprika, garlic salt, Italian seasoning to taste.

Mix the ingredients well and form a “loaf” in the bottom of your crock pot.

Then, wash 5-6 small-medium potatoes, prick them with a knife or fork, and wrap them in foil. Place them around the meatloaf. Cook for 8-10 hours on low. You do not need to add water, and wrapping the potatoes is optional (I just like them to have their own flavor at the end of the day ).
There is something about roasting the meatloaf and potatoes all day that really gives this meal a savory and delicious flavor. It tastes like your regular meatloaf, only better. The potatoes get very golden and buttery tasting even without the butter. Serve it up with a favorite veggie or salad. I hope you try it soon and enjoy!

   January 29 at 19:14 EST .

   8 people like this.



   NotaBene  Thank you Olhokie64 for the recipe. I will try it. My children gave a crockpot and only used it once. If you have other favorite recipes please post them. I should use my crockpot, it would be nice to have dinner ready when I get home from work.
January 30 at 02:06 EST .

  7 people like this.



   Balogreene  That sounds sooo good. I hadn't thought about meat loaf, but I do love my crock pot. My sister won't use it, she uses a pressure cooker, and I think the food has to cook longer. I've found several crock pot cookbooks on Amazon Kindle for free. I get a listing of very inexpensive Kindle books every day from Bookbub.com.
January 30 at 05:30 EST .

  9 people like this.



   BirdsNest   http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/slow-
cooked-stuffed-peppers?pmcode=IPAD201T&_
mid=2922152


Mind you I have not tried this recipe, but it sounds like a plan. I am all for anything that uses the crockpot, ours is used all the time. Today I am making soup, cooked the meat yesterday and will scoop out the grease and add veggies and let it cook all day.
January 30 at 08:45 EST .

  10 people like this.



   Bettijo  Years ago I used to make meatloaf in my crockpot, but had forgotten about it. I am going to try your recipe. Thanks.
January 30 at 10:02 EST .

  8 people like this.



   Olhokie64  I admit that I copied the recipe and it sounded like I had written the narration. I love meatloaf, the singer is not bad either, and the potatoes co9me out great.
January 30 at 16:16 EST .

  10 people like this.





   Olhokie64 posted on Suggested Reading  I got my Beautiful Wife a Kindle fire and she is going crazy reading "Jeannet Oke. She love them and has got her into r4eading again.
January 29 at 19:02 EST .

   7 people like this.



   Olhokie64  It doesn't help me spell.
January 29 at 20:17 EST .

  12 people like this.



   Balogreene  I just turned my mom onto Audible.com. It is a part of Amazon, and the books play on your Kindle or Fire (I listen on my phone ). She's got a cataract and is working up the courage for the surgery, so her Fire is set on the largest text possible, sometimes only one or two words a line.
January 29 at 22:18 EST .

  13 people like this.



   Olhokie64  She likes to read not hear. It relaxes her. She used to read all the time, now she is doing more. Thanks.
January 30 at 16:11 EST .

  12 people like this.





   Olhokie64 posted on Jokes  This is in honor of someone I will not reveal her name.
   January 29 at 18:21 EST .

   7 people like this.



   Ynaught  A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
January 30 at 08:24 EST .

  9 people like this.



   Olhokie64  Why not?
January 31 at 14:45 EST .

  11 people like this.



   Wrightwinger  Very... Pungent!
January 31 at 20:53 EST .

  10 people like this.





   Olhokie64 posted on Jokes  The danger of having sports figures as role models for kids....

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:

"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:

"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"

Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:

"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."

(Now that is beautiful )

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."

And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January )

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:

"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'

He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.''

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:

"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:

"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

Ah, but just think, they ride to the bank in a Mercedes...
January 3 at 04:02 EST .

   8 people like this.



   Eagles Dominion  Stole it!
January 3 at 11:25 EST .

  11 people like this.





   Olhokie64 posted on Jokes  This would be a lot more funny if it were not so true!
What a Deal!

I got an email the other day from a Nigerian prince…;

He’s got a MILLION DOLLARS and he wants to give it to me for FREE!

.....And all I have to do is give him all my bank account numbers so he can transfer the money!

I was about to do it, but then I got ANOTHER email…;

It’s from a KENYAN prince, and he wants to give me FREE healthcare for life!

… and all I have to do is give him all my bank account numbers so he can make it happen!

Sounds like a heck of a good deal, right?

At least with the Nigerian prince, you only get robbed once.

With the Kenyan prince, you get continually robbed for the rest of your life.
January 3 at 03:20 EST .

   13 people like this.


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