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Safetydude



   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Last one...

So this seal wiggles up to the bar.

"What'll you have?" asks the bartender.

"Anything but a Canadian Club".
April 20 at 22:19 EST .

   2 people like this.



   Griefs2bear  Ya done good!
April 21 at 00:02 EST .

  2 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so this guy wanders into a circus looking for a job.
"What can you do?" asks the Manager.
"It's easier if I show you" and the guy starts to flap his arms and run.
Pretty soon he's flying and after a couple of loops around the big top he lands in front of the manager.

"That's it, you do bird impersonations?"
April 20 at 21:58 EST .

   2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Ok, so there are these two fish in a tank.
One turns to the other; "Hey, there are six pedals but only four directions."
April 20 at 22:08 EST .

  3 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so this polar bear sits down at the bar.
"What'll you have?" asks the bartender.

"I'll have a gin a.......................nd tonic".
"What's with the big pause?"

The polar bear holds up his paws, "I don't know. I've had them since birth".
April 20 at 16:14 EST .

   2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Ok, so Plato and a Platypus sit down at the bar.
The bartender looks up at them; "What's this, a joke?"
April 20 at 20:39 EST .

 1 person like this.





   Safetydude posted on Pet Peeves  TV weather guessers that spend more time showing radar images of what happened twelve hours ago than just giving us their best guess as to what the weather will be for the next two days.
April 20 at 15:36 EST .

   3 people like this.



   Surfhut  LOL! Try living in Oklahoma during tornado season.
Yesterday at 19:31 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Gram77  It's a crap shoot here in Florida for hurricane season too. Predictions are rather scarey but in my area it remains quiet. Watch me pay for that remark!!
Yesterday at 20:38 EST .

 1 person like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Just thought I'd swing by on my way to the grill...

Ok, so this guy is sitting on a bench in the park eating his lunch when a woman and her little dog comes by.

The dog stops and begins to jump on the guy, trying to reach the food.
So the guy turns to the woman and asks if it would be ok "to throw the dog a bit"?

"That would be very nice of you", she answers.

So the guy picks up the dog and throws it over a hedge.
April 14 at 18:37 EST .

   3 people like this.



   Wrightwinger  Puppy sitting this week... Tempting that!
April 15 at 10:21 EST .

  2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Ok, so this skeleton takes a seat at the bar'

"What'll you have" asks the bartender.

The skeleton thinks for a minute, "I'll have a beer and a mop".
April 16 at 11:03 EST .

 1 person like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so these two guys are standing at ajacent urinals doing their business and as one guy finishes and starts to leave the other guy turns and asks "Hey, aren't you going to wash your hands? In the Marines they taught us to always wash our hands after going to the bathroom".

"So, in the Air Force they taught us not to pi** on our fingers".
April 1 at 18:52 EST .

   5 people like this.



   Ole buzzard  Ah! Memories from basic training!
April 1 at 19:22 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Eagles Dominion  LOL... My daughter-in-law is currently in BCT at Fort Jackson, SC and then on to AIT at Fort Lee, Virginia. I'll have to email this and ask her for a comment! ;- ) I can just hear her( she's rather outspoken to say the least ).
April 5 at 21:42 EST .

  4 people like this.



   Safetydude  When you do ED, give her our thanks for joining the military.

Fort Lee, Combat Support. Great training for a post-military career.

(And I did say 'Marines', not 'Army' ).
April 6 at 21:38 EST .

  4 people like this.



   Safetydude  Ok, so this homeowner is talking to the guy in Home Depot...
'Is this insecticide good for beetles?'
'No, It kills 'em'.
April 6 at 22:02 EST .

  6 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Music  In Honor of Vietnam Veterans Day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBV0DXySwMk
March 30 at 00:33 EST .

   2 people like this.



   Escaped commieny  tissue time
March 30 at 18:50 EST .

  6 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Movies & Reviews  Welcome on, R-K.
Hope everything went well with you and Mr.Sam's people.

By the way, if that(those )was a gin Martini, try a slice, or two, of fresh, peeled cucumber as a change from olives. A cucumber slice is also great as a garnish in plain Gin and Tonic.

Ok, now on to the business at hand.
March 28 at 20:27 EST .

   3 people like this.



   Rake King  I will try that as I am big on cucumbers, but also are big on olives...multiple.

Re the audit, they choose to leave and send a written report. I feel good about result.
March 28 at 20:58 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Phooey  Congrats, RK.
A twist of lemon peel in mine, thank you.
March 28 at 22:34 EST .

  2 people like this.



   Rake King  The Martini Association has many branches/
March 29 at 07:32 EST .

  2 people like this.



   Rake King  The Martini Federation has many branches/
March 29 at 07:37 EST .

  3 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so this senior couple is sitting on their porch reminiscing and she turns to him and out of the blue asks; "if I die first will you re-marry right away"?
He : "Of course not"
She: "Well, If you do, will you sell the house"?
He : "Of course not"?
She: "Would you sell our bed?"
He : "Of course not"?
She: "Would you let her wear my clothes"?
He : "Of course not"?
She: "Would you let her use my golf clubs"?
He : "She's left handed".

(He never heard the shot )
March 24 at 18:18 EST .

   7 people like this.



   Ole buzzard  Stolen for Facebook!
March 24 at 19:12 EST .

  3 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Music  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA-QVFJVut8

Learn to love it. Thank's Obama.
March 24 at 17:52 EST .

   6 people like this.


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