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Safetydude



   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so this guy drags himself up to the bar.
"Gimmi' a double" he says, "I just caught my wife making love to my best friend".
"What did you do"? asks the bartender.
"I smacked him on his nose with a newspaper and threw out his 'Kibbls N Bits".

Hey, we're all adults, aren't we?
Yesterday at 20:24 EST .

   2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Ok, so this brain walks into a bar, sits down and orders a shot.
"Sorry" Says the bartender, "I can't serve you. You're out of your skull".
Yesterday at 20:34 EST .

  2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Ok, so this lady crow(crowette )walks into a bar wearing a pearl necklace.
She sits down and orders a drink.
"Wow", says the bartender. "This is the first time I've ever seen a crow wearing a pearl necklace".
"What do you expect with basic black"?
Yesterday at 20:42 EST .

  2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Ok, so this Irishman walks out of a bar...
Hey, it could happen.
Yesterday at 20:45 EST .

  2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Ok, so this book walks into a bar.
"Please", says the bartender, "no stories".
Yesterday at 20:59 EST .

  2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Thank you guys, you've been great.
Drive safely.
Yesterday at 21:04 EST .

  2 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so this ghost walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a shot of vodka.
"Sorry" says the bartender, "It's past midnite' and we can't serve spirits after eleven".
August 28 at 22:25 EST .

   9 people like this.




   Safetydude posted on Nostalgia  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDc0ID6PJeg#t=155

A trip down memory lane.
August 25 at 23:11 EST .

   3 people like this.



   Gram77  Give me that good old slow dance when we were close.
August 26 at 18:30 EST .

  3 people like this.



   MeiDei  I recognized my first car - the Ford Fairlane 'tho mine was a hard top not the true convertible in this one. boy, what memories. Thanks for posting.
August 28 at 15:14 EST .

  3 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so an E-flat walks into a bar...
"You have to leave" says the bartender, "we don't serve minors in here".

Good Night, You guys have been great!
August 25 at 22:05 EST .

   5 people like this.




   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so this guy walks into a bar with a bag on his sholder and takes it off and lays it on the floor.
The bartender comes up and says "Sorry buddy, you can't leave that lyin there".
"It's not a lion, it's a bag" answers the guy.

Ok, so this guy goes into a bar on a university campus and asks the bartender
"When do you quit serving"?
"After the g".

Ok, so this penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Have you seen my brother"?
"I'm not sure" says the bartender. "What's he look like"?

Last one, I promise!

A group of fonts walk into a bar and when the bartender sees them he immediately tells them to "get out"!

"We don't serve your type in here"!
August 24 at 22:10 EST .

   3 people like this.



   Gerty  It's Monday, Mr.Dude! And I can't figure out (for the life of me ) why I can't stop laughing at that stuff you just posted as jokes! :- )
August 25 at 15:04 EST .

  2 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Movies & Reviews  For Mike PHX:

"You betcha"!
August 24 at 19:50 EST .

   5 people like this.



   Mike PHX  Context, please, Dude. Obviously Sarah Palin....but in what?
August 25 at 20:29 EST .

  4 people like this.



   Mike PHX  Ok, Fargo.
I missed the quiz,
August 25 at 22:47 EST .

  4 people like this.



   Safetydude  Good movie but with too much foul language.
August 26 at 16:55 EST .

  5 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Coffee Klatch  Maureen Dowd ?? The New York Times ??

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/24/opinion/sunday/maureen-dow
d-the-golf-address.html?_r=0
August 23 at 22:56 EST .

   3 people like this.



   MeiDei  Clever & about time.
August 23 at 23:52 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Gerty  I don't know. Miss Dowd is known for her sarcasm and does have a way with words. I just wish she had not used some of our most respected historical doctrines to exercise her 'charming' wit.

I agree with some of the posters on the Mother site, Maureen is just in the process of wiping the slate clean before she starts rooting for Hilary.
August 24 at 06:35 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Gerty  That would be 'historical documents' not historical doctrines. Seven hours ago was way too early!
August 24 at 13:39 EST .

  2 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so the bartender sets up a drink on the bar; "here you are, sir".
Then the timetraveler walks in.
August 21 at 20:20 EST .

   4 people like this.



   Gerty  It takes a certain amount of a special kind of humor to appreciate this little joke!

Well done, Mr.Dude!
August 24 at 06:51 EST .

  3 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Nostalgia  Any of you 'gear-heads' out there remember usin' 'drain oil' in you cars, back in the 50's ?

It came in glass containers with long metal spouts.
August 21 at 18:00 EST .

   5 people like this.



   Ole buzzard  Oh, yes, recycled oil. We even used it into the late '60s, but only as an emergency topper when out on the road.
August 21 at 18:02 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Safetydude  You're right, Top.
I still used it while I was in hi-school'.
August 21 at 20:16 EST .

  4 people like this.





   Safetydude posted on Jokes  Ok, so this guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and sits down, puts the asphalt down, and orders a beer and one for the road.
August 14 at 21:59 EST .

   6 people like this.



   Gerty  I like the way you think, Mr.Dude!
August 15 at 11:28 EST .

  7 people like this.



   Ynaught  Good one!
August 15 at 13:29 EST .

  8 people like this.



   Safetydude  Thank You.
...'since brevity is the soul of wit'...'I will be breief'...
"Hamlet", Act 2, scene 2.

Ok, so this dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
August 15 at 15:57 EST .

  10 people like this.



   Olhokie64  Ok I am slysdexic.
August 16 at 21:33 EST .

  10 people like this.



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