Rollingcow Puppies tend to push for a better place at the dish, so they frequently do pinwheels, however, this is the best one I've seen. Mrs. Cow
13 hours ago .
Ynaught posted on Jokes There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone! After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young girl named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone..."
He jumped up, grabbed her, and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant serious business.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.
Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone..."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night... but, Yellow Bird wouldn't die!!!!
Moral: You can't kill two birds with one stone!
Yesterday at 20:31 EST .
1 person like this.
Ynaught posted on Jokes A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour.
The bear remover arrived, and got out of his van. He had a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12 gauge shotgun, and a mean looking, heavily scarred old pit bull.
"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asked.
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles, and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He then handed the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" the homeowner asked.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, you shoot the dog."
Phooey ....gold, frankincense and myrrh.... then the women spent the gold for a hot tub, mani pedi all around, aromatherapy specialist( burning frankincense and myrrh ), then, buy a limousine for a weekly 'women's night out shopping spree'....
8 hours ago .
Ynaught posted on Main Page The Lobby Random thought for the day: I saw a slab of granite today - carved in it were the words "Nothing is carved in granite."
Tuesday at 17:30 EST .
1 person like this.
Grace1798 10 Commandments are carved in Stone by the finger of God. Wondering if it was granite? But no one can find the Ark anymore and I believe Jesus is the replacement or Fulfillment, what do you guys think?
Yesterday at 07:43 EST .
Phooey Jesus said: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. Yes Grace1798! He IS my Ark!
Ynaught posted on Jokes A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.
The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the National Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm sorry, but due to Obamacare, they turned you down. "