|
|
TheConnection Walls
27 walls
|
|
|
|
Flhub
| |
Flhub posted on Jokes Home made radiation tester
OPEN A BAG OF ORVILLE REDENBACHER MICROWAVE POPCORN LEAVE IT ON YOUR KITCHEN COUNTER IF IT STARTS POPPING, YOU’RE SCREWED.
April 8 at 12:46 EST .
| |
Surfhut ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 8 at 13:42 EST .
|
|
| |
Flhub posted on Politics What have we learned in 2,065 years?
"The budget should be balanced; the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."
- Cicero - 55 BC
Evidently we have learned nothing
January 9 at 09:34 EST .
|
| |
Flhub posted on Jokes I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
December 31 at 11:08 EST .
2 people like this.
| |
Paget51 Good one! :)
December 31 at 13:01 EST .
 3 people like this.
|
|
| |
Flhub posted on Jokes A possum is a flat animal that lives in the middle of the street
December 21 at 16:33 EST .
| |
Wrightwinger Most of them I see are not "living" by any stretch of the imagination. One old joke is "Why did the chicken cross the road? Answer: To show a possum that it could be done!"
December 21 at 18:06 EST .
|
| |
Sal Funny place for a possum to sleep....
December 21 at 23:41 EST .
|
| |
Ole buzzard I remember driving home one night, and a possum was in the middle of my lane, looking straight at me. He turned and started running straight ahead of me, staying in the light of my headlights until my truck was directly over him and he had no more lights. He must have thought it was safe to turn because the next thing I heard was "THUMP"!
December 23 at 00:16 EST .
|
|
| |
Flhub posted on Jokes The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.
3.. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
7.. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
November 7 at 10:01 EST .
2 people like this.
| |
Golla I love these! Some are totally hilarious on several levels.
November 7 at 18:30 EST .
|
|
| |
Flhub posted on Jokes Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
November 6 at 09:27 EST .
1 person like this.
|
| |
Flhub posted on Politics The Obama administration has replaced an old axiom, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," with one of its own: "If it ain't broke, fix it till it is." ...
November 6 at 09:12 EST .
3 people like this.
|
| |
