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Coffee Klatch



   Gerty  You don't have to be religious to celebrate the Saint of the Day---especially today.

September 1st is the feast of St. Joshua!
Yesterday at 04:38 EST .

   6 people like this.




   Wrightwinger  Looks like it should be quite secure... I think it was done by one of my students....
   August 26 at 22:35 EST .

   3 people like this.



   MeiDei  Works in "park" only! : )
August 26 at 22:40 EST .

  4 people like this.



   Bettijo  I bet this is owned by a low-info voter; shows depth of reasoning and lack of knowledge of cause and affect.
August 27 at 09:48 EST .

  4 people like this.





   Linder  Oh, no! I've just been negatively labeled by none other than Mylie Cyrus...as one of those short hair ladies.
August 26 at 10:37 EST .

   4 people like this.



   Gram77  I only ask what a short haired lady is because Mylie Cyrus said it. P.S. I don't care for her.
August 26 at 13:49 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Linder  I happened to glance up and see her on TV...noticed how uncultivated her speaking voice is and then heard her make the remark about the short hair ladies. I assume she was saying she knows older women don't approve of her and she doesn't care. We H.S. classmates all turned 70 this year and can't wait for our next lunch meeting to refer them as short hair ladies.
August 26 at 17:37 EST .

  4 people like this.





   Ynaught  This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!
(editor's note: I would have hired him too!! )

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA, but seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Hospital

EMERGENCY CONTACT PHONE: 911 of course

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
August 25 at 10:40 EST .

   4 people like this.



   Gram77  This is priceless. Obviously the higher-ups recognized a clever person who could wind up i management.
August 25 at 13:24 EST .

 1 person like this.



   MeiDei  Can you imagine his version of any new items added to the menu.
August 25 at 18:31 EST .

  2 people like this.



   Safetydude  Sorry.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdo
nald.asp
August 25 at 19:10 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Ynaught  Poo on you, Safetydude! I know for a fact that most of your "a guy walks into a bar" stories never really happened either!
August 26 at 10:42 EST .

  4 people like this.



   Safetydude  Jaha! did so happen. Every one of those events has been documented somewhere.
I just don't remember where.
Maybe in the bar?
August 26 at 16:38 EST .

  5 people like this.



   Ynaught  Just because you say it, doesn't make it so! And I was in that bar with the penguin and he was asking about his sister, not his brother!
August 26 at 20:07 EST .

  3 people like this.





   Gerty  On the Health and Diet wall, Miss Bettijo posted some very interesting information.

Anyone out there able to give some further information on why Genetically Modified Foods are/may be harmful and should be avoided?
August 24 at 13:44 EST .

   3 people like this.



   Balogreene  Gerty, I think I'm in a minority here, many of my friends tell me GM food is bad. I am not sure why. God has been modifying food for millennia. Do you know, if you plant jalapeƱos between your tomatoes and green peppers, the jalapeƱos will be slightly less picante, but the green peppers and tomatoes will be more picante? (A friend of mine did this by mistake. He loved it, his wife hated it ). Tangerines, Nectarines, peanuts, have all been spliced together by man to change the genetics. People have also spent millennia trying to make growing food more productive, less prone to drought, last longer, etc.

On the other hand, I'm not sure about Scientists, in the lab, doing strange chemical things. Have you ever tried to buy a bottle of orange juice? Just plain orange juice, no calcium added, no Vitamins added. Or Milk, without all those weird additives? I don't know how good or bad it is. Can you tell?

Sometimes, I would just rather not know. I get what I can afford.
August 26 at 21:42 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Bettijo  Check this out:

GMOs: The Walking Dead of the Food Industry

http://gmoinside.org/resources/gmos-the-
walking-dead-of-the-food-industry/
August 27 at 11:06 EST .

  4 people like this.





   Safetydude  Maureen Dowd ?? The New York Times ??

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/24/opinion/sunday/maureen-dow
d-the-golf-address.html?_r=0
August 23 at 22:56 EST .

   3 people like this.



   MeiDei  Clever & about time.
August 23 at 23:52 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Gerty  I don't know. Miss Dowd is known for her sarcasm and does have a way with words. I just wish she had not used some of our most respected historical doctrines to exercise her 'charming' wit.

I agree with some of the posters on the Mother site, Maureen is just in the process of wiping the slate clean before she starts rooting for Hilary.
August 24 at 06:35 EST .

  3 people like this.



   Gerty  That would be 'historical documents' not historical doctrines. Seven hours ago was way too early!
August 24 at 13:39 EST .

  2 people like this.





   Ynaught  .
   August 20 at 14:19 EST .

   4 people like this.



   Gerty  Subsequently posted on the Main Page--so I first saw it there. It hasn't lost any of it's 'charm'.

Nancy Pelosi is still the WWW! Nasty woman who gives the rest of us (Italian decent ) women a bad name!!
August 20 at 19:37 EST .

  5 people like this.



   Gerty  Oh, dear. That would be 'Italian descent'--although I'm good with 'decent' too!
August 20 at 19:40 EST .

  2 people like this.





   Ynaught  I had a nice time at your house yesterday. Your hospitality made my visit wonderful. But I noticed a few areas where I think I might be able to offer you some tips. Let's start with your refrigerator:

FOOD SPOILAGE TABLE:

THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night ).

EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.

MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.


FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway ) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EXPIRATION DATES
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

BREAD
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

LETTUCE
Lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet.

CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully!

CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

RAISINS
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

WINE
It should not taste like salad dressing.

POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

CHIP DIP
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

EMPTY CONTAINERS
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you have a wife or a maid.

UNMARKED ITEMS:
Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not fart when you open them.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.
August 20 at 14:10 EST .

   5 people like this.




   MeiDei  Doesn't this hit home......
   August 20 at 13:08 EST .

   5 people like this.



   Gerty  This is so sad for all but the well-adjusted and women at peace with themselves.
August 20 at 19:44 EST .

  4 people like this.



   MeiDei  Inside every elderly person is a younger version waiting to dance in the rain once again or run a 2 min. mile : ) I read where Elizabeth I just before her death was seen dancing by herself unaware/unconcerned at being seen by her much younger ladies-in-waiting - who giggled at "the old fool" - too young to have their own memories to relive & with no guarantee that they too will reach a ripe old age.
August 21 at 00:43 EST .

  3 people like this.





   MeiDei  Do you know what happened 164 years ago....

September 9, 1850?

California became a state! The people had no electricity, the state had no money
and almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically NOTHING has changed except back then the women
had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

And that my friends is your history lesson for today.
August 19 at 14:37 EST .

   7 people like this.


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