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Members Photos
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Jokes



   Safetydude  Ok, so this guy drags himself up to the bar.
"Gimmi' a double" he says, "I just caught my wife making love to my best friend".
"What did you do"? asks the bartender.
"I smacked him on his nose with a newspaper and threw out his 'Kibbls N Bits".

Hey, we're all adults, aren't we?
About an hour ago .



   Safetydude  Ok, so this brain walks into a bar, sits down and orders a shot.
"Sorry" Says the bartender, "I can't serve you. You're out of your skull".
About an hour ago .


   Safetydude  Ok, so this lady crow(crowette )walks into a bar wearing a pearl necklace.
She sits down and orders a drink.
"Wow", says the bartender. "This is the first time I've ever seen a crow wearing a pearl necklace".
"What do you expect with basic black"?
About an hour ago .


   Safetydude  Ok, so this Irishman walks out of a bar...
Hey, it could happen.
About an hour ago .


   Safetydude  Ok, so this book walks into a bar.
"Please", says the bartender, "no stories".
52 minutes ago .


   Safetydude  Thank you guys, you've been great.
Drive safely.
47 minutes ago .




   Ynaught  A social worker from a big city in Massachusetts recently
transferred to the mountains of West Virginia and was on the
first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin
she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

"Anybody home?" she asked.

"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.

"Is your father there?" asked the social worker.

"Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.

"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker.

"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.

"But," protested the social worker, (thinking that surely she will
need to intervene in this situation ) "are you never together as a
family?"

"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the
outhouse!"

Government workers are so very smart. Aren't you overjoyed
that they'll soon be handling all our financial, educational and
medical dilemmas?
2 hours ago .

   1 person like this.




   Wrightwinger  Now I know why himself chose a rainbow for his signage. See what is on the end of the Obama-bow!
   4 hours ago .

   1 person like this.




   MeiDei  The Foursome
   Yesterday at 15:55 EST .

   4 people like this.



   Gerty  This HAS to be the post of the day!! Congrats, MeiDei.
17 hours ago .

  3 people like this.



   Safetydude  With apologies to Curley, Moe and Larry.
The guy on the right should be the caddy.
6 hours ago .

  2 people like this.



   Wrightwinger  Now that is a rude comment, Safetydude! He should be the ball...
4 hours ago .




   MeiDei  The Air Force - Solving problems since 1947.
   Saturday at 11:59 EST .

   8 people like this.




   MeiDei  A born salesman Ole, the smoothest-talking Norwegian in the Minnesota National Guard, got called up to active duty. Ole's first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI life insurance, to which they were entitled. The officer in charge soon noticed that Ole was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Ole's sales pitch. Ole stood up before the latest group of inductees and said, "If you haf da normal GI insurans an' yoo go to Afghanistan an' get yourself killed, da governmen' pays yer beneficiary $20,000. If yoo take out da supplemental insurans, vich cost you only t'irty dollars a mont , den da governmen' got ta pay yer beneficiary $200,000! "Now," Ole concluded, "Vich bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Afghanistan first?"
   Saturday at 11:38 EST .

   6 people like this.




   Balogreene  Mr. Dude, that one about the fonts got loud guffaws from my tech writing team, thanks.
   Saturday at 11:19 EST .

   6 people like this.




   Safetydude  Ok, so this ghost walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a shot of vodka.
"Sorry" says the bartender, "It's past midnite' and we can't serve spirits after eleven".
   August 28 at 22:25 EST .

   9 people like this.




   Safetydude  Ok, so an E-flat walks into a bar...
"You have to leave" says the bartender, "we don't serve minors in here".

Good Night, You guys have been great!
   August 25 at 22:05 EST .

   5 people like this.




   Safetydude  Ok, so this guy walks into a bar with a bag on his sholder and takes it off and lays it on the floor.
The bartender comes up and says "Sorry buddy, you can't leave that lyin there".
"It's not a lion, it's a bag" answers the guy.

Ok, so this guy goes into a bar on a university campus and asks the bartender
"When do you quit serving"?
"After the g".

Ok, so this penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Have you seen my brother"?
"I'm not sure" says the bartender. "What's he look like"?

Last one, I promise!

A group of fonts walk into a bar and when the bartender sees them he immediately tells them to "get out"!

"We don't serve your type in here"!
   August 24 at 22:10 EST .

   3 people like this.



   Gerty  It's Monday, Mr.Dude! And I can't figure out (for the life of me ) why I can't stop laughing at that stuff you just posted as jokes! :- )
August 25 at 15:04 EST .

  2 people like this.



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