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TheConnection Walls
27 walls
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Members Photos
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Jokes
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Olhokie64 Thibodeaux and Boudreaux entered a chocolate store. As they were looking at the candy, Thibodeaux stole 3 chocolate bars. When they left the store Thibodeaux said to Boudreaux, "I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me put them in my pocket. You cant beat that.
Boudreaux replied: "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing." I'll steal while the shopkeeper is watching me and he won't even know.
So they went to the counter and Boudreaux said to the shopkeeper: "Do you want to see a great magic trick?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes" Boudreaux said: "Give me three chocolate bars. " The shopkeeper gave him three chocolate bars and Boudreaux ate all three. The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic ?"
Boudreaux replied: "Look in Thibodeaux's pocket."
Yesterday at 20:45 EST .
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Ynaught Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him what?
A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
Thursday at 09:57 EST .
2 people like this.
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Rake King You may copy and past this sign for those who need it
 May 15 at 07:24 EST .
2 people like this.
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Eagles Dominion No Thanks, I'm retired and I like it that way! :- )
Yesterday at 20:33 EST .
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Rake King A Funny sign of the day.
May 14 at 21:09 EST .
1 person like this.
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Ynaught A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
May 14 at 14:04 EST .
7 people like this.
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Rake King Your funny sign of the day saluting those seniors who crossed the finish line. In this case on their hands and knees.
May 13 at 07:41 EST .
2 people like this.
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Olhokie64 In Texas , there is a town called New Braunfels , where there is a large German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window, and shouted, "Sehr angenehm! Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen."
Which means: ("Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it." )
The man shouted back, "I'm from New York , and just down here campaigning for Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied, "Use both hands. You'll get more."
May 12 at 23:18 EST .
2 people like this.
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Wrightwinger Allergies?
May 11 at 19:41 EST .
2 people like this.
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Ynaught 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker,
but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine ..
20. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead
raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
21. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
22. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
23. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
May 11 at 10:52 EST .
2 people like this.
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Gerty Thanks for the few moments of jollies, Miss Y--I enjoyed it and really needed it!!
May 11 at 20:55 EST .
 1 person like this.
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Wrightwinger Hmmm?
May 10 at 19:50 EST .
1 person like this.
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